“Get Off My Back!” Moaned The Camel

Hallo?!?    Estupids!?!    I know you Amereecans are not fond of ze Mathematiks but what does 70 kilos + 110 kilos eequal? No, is not 180, imbecile. Eet is 1… 1 very tired camel. Now get off my back!

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I have been lifting and walking and squating and lifting and walking and squatting ze ugly tourists all day and I am tired of eet. And let me tell you zis Mr. Boney Bottom and Mr. Massive Man… when a camel moans as eef giving births, zen it does NOT mean they want to ride again. Eet means get OFF!!!    ESTUPID!!!

Oh? You want to take a peekture of zis monumentous occasion of when I try and bite your foot… OK!

And I would have been successful eef not for zis handknit muzzle. Is soft and pretty to ze eyes, yes, but it stops me from biting, and ohhhhhh, how I love to bite Amereecans. Zey are so incredulous when eet happens. Ze are like, “That Camel Bit ME!!!”

Haha. Zat camel was ME! But never have I wanted to bite a rider on my back as much as zis night. Za moon is high, ze air is soft, go find a woman to do your bidding. My back, eet ‘urts. But I shall have my revenge yes, for when I stand at ze beginning and when I kneel at ze end I shall do so with zuch great force zat your nezer regions shall become like one with ze seat in vich you sit. Yes, sweet revenge. Za discomfort of men so easily extracted. You will be so very sorry zat you ever straddelled my saddell…

But do not zay I zid not warn you. I moaned quite loudly at ze start. You zid not listen, so your zonads vil go ZADS!!!

Rest

And now I rest.